i can't decide if i should be annoyed or flattered. at this point i am annoyed that you would want to be just like me so badly that you would take something of mine and use it like its yours. i'm flattered that i am so cool that you wish you could be like me.
seriously, take some time to be creative and come up with something original.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
29 excuses to party
instead of naming all the reasons i have for not participating in stupid parties i will just skip the entire scene. while some people celebrate anything that is free others appreciate a bit more the reason to celebrate.
sometimes drama has a way of finding you and you have to fight to stay posative. your imagination can save you if you let it. as long as you have a good plan of action and great organization skills you are headed in the right direction!
some of us are just more skilled at party planning than others...or lack there of. i may not be making much sense but it's pretty simple really.
he who laughs last laughs the hardest!
sometimes drama has a way of finding you and you have to fight to stay posative. your imagination can save you if you let it. as long as you have a good plan of action and great organization skills you are headed in the right direction!
some of us are just more skilled at party planning than others...or lack there of. i may not be making much sense but it's pretty simple really.
he who laughs last laughs the hardest!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
modify the rules
i want you to know that i'm trying my best to understand the place you are in and the decisions you have to make. i'm not into this whole situation to be honest. i think its completely immature and stupid. i hope it doesn't continue but there is only so much i can do. i know you have a lot of strength to do what you really want to and know you should do but you won't. i can understand that i truly can - i know you want to fix it. you can't base your self worth on another persons actions though.
we all have priorities i know you can understand that. mine are a certain way and with all due respect it is not of your concern. it is impossible to not base decisions on events from the past. if i didn't consider past lessons then i would be stupid.
i know you are not proud of how some things went down but you have to accept where you landed. but, don't let another control you - especially with the circumstances. nothing is worth being controlled over.
i want your friendship and you know that but i'm not gonna play the game.
you are important to me but i will not be told what to do by you. you shouldn't allow another to tell you either.
we all have priorities i know you can understand that. mine are a certain way and with all due respect it is not of your concern. it is impossible to not base decisions on events from the past. if i didn't consider past lessons then i would be stupid.
i know you are not proud of how some things went down but you have to accept where you landed. but, don't let another control you - especially with the circumstances. nothing is worth being controlled over.
i want your friendship and you know that but i'm not gonna play the game.
you are important to me but i will not be told what to do by you. you shouldn't allow another to tell you either.
jealousy is a disease - get well soon!
there was a time when you both got the best of me. those days are never forgotten but will never be relived. sometimes i truly wish you were capable of understanding how it felt to be me. i'm not gonna make this a bitch session about how hard i had it. however, i wouldn't wish the same on anybody.
that brings me to the present and the situation that is completely ridiculous. i am comfortable with my decision to not talk to you. there are a lot of reasons actually but i will only name the important ones bc i don't need any reasons to be completely honest. you have an agenda in your desire to correspond with me, one rooted in insecurity and jealousy. its possible that i would have more sympathy and compassion to understand why somebody else acted the way you do. since its you though i just have no desire to waste my time.
i have forgiven you but i can't forget and trust me i would love to be able to forget. in the end though i'm glad it happened bc i learned a lot.
i will give you a little advice and i don't care that you didn't ask for it bc you need to hear it. you can not change a person or the past. you can not control another persons heart. you can not fake it so well that it works.
i will never go away and you've known that all along. i may be far and i may be near but i will always be around. might as well accept it and make the best of it (and finally approve it since thats the right you feel you have somehow).
maybe then we can talk but i know you don't really want to hear about my day. thats why i am peaceful and you're resentful.
think about it but i already know what you'll do. talk to you most likely never.
that brings me to the present and the situation that is completely ridiculous. i am comfortable with my decision to not talk to you. there are a lot of reasons actually but i will only name the important ones bc i don't need any reasons to be completely honest. you have an agenda in your desire to correspond with me, one rooted in insecurity and jealousy. its possible that i would have more sympathy and compassion to understand why somebody else acted the way you do. since its you though i just have no desire to waste my time.
i have forgiven you but i can't forget and trust me i would love to be able to forget. in the end though i'm glad it happened bc i learned a lot.
i will give you a little advice and i don't care that you didn't ask for it bc you need to hear it. you can not change a person or the past. you can not control another persons heart. you can not fake it so well that it works.
i will never go away and you've known that all along. i may be far and i may be near but i will always be around. might as well accept it and make the best of it (and finally approve it since thats the right you feel you have somehow).
maybe then we can talk but i know you don't really want to hear about my day. thats why i am peaceful and you're resentful.
think about it but i already know what you'll do. talk to you most likely never.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
place your bets
this past week has been full of highs and lows. sometimes when you discover something really cool it seems like something negative is bound to be right around the corner. but, the best thing and the one that i try to use to my advantage the most is to simply shut up and listen. it is amazing how much you learn if you just shut your mouth and open your ears. not only that but at the same time i get to watch true colors that others possess explode out. i am so dumb sometimes that it truly amazes me. it is nice though to read the cliff notes on another persons character so easily and them not even know it. i give myself a free pass to not invest any more than a hello and goodbye on such persons.
i find myself staring into space with a smile on my face. then i laugh to myself bc i know why i'm smiling. everyone around me is laughing and carrying on but they are clueless.
rise against has a song with the following lyric...IF STRENGTH WERE GAINED FROM HEARTBREAK THAN MOUNTAINS I COULD MOVE. that is a great description of this past week.
from sadness then anger and now pity for those who hope they are never where i was.
but in the end i have a feeling inside which another shares as well that its all worth it. if they only knew the joy and happiness to have this feeling inside. the future is not promised but the present feels good enough for me.
i find myself staring into space with a smile on my face. then i laugh to myself bc i know why i'm smiling. everyone around me is laughing and carrying on but they are clueless.
rise against has a song with the following lyric...IF STRENGTH WERE GAINED FROM HEARTBREAK THAN MOUNTAINS I COULD MOVE. that is a great description of this past week.
from sadness then anger and now pity for those who hope they are never where i was.
but in the end i have a feeling inside which another shares as well that its all worth it. if they only knew the joy and happiness to have this feeling inside. the future is not promised but the present feels good enough for me.
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